A Beautiful New Sketchbook

Just bought a new sketchbook today after I spent about twenty minutes agonizing over all of the options. I am extremely picky when it comes to selecting one. I like them small but not too small. I like them with thick paper but not too thick. I like them with a hard cover but not too hard. Okay, that last one was just me being stupid, but you get the idea. However, I am extremely rough with my sketchbooks since I take them practically everywhere, so I do require a hard cover.

After buying it, I promptly went to my favorite little coffee shop, sat myself down, and started doodling away. I always feel a bit of pressure when making the first drawing. I view it as the introduction to a book I’m considering reading. The first page should ideally hook the reader right away, submerge them into the world the author crafts. Therefore, if my first drawing doesn’t excite me, I loose a lot of motivation to keep drawing in that particular sketchbook. I guess it’s just a weird fact about me. Luckily, this has only happened with two sketchbooks, and both of them were rather inexpensive that I bought on sale. Anyway, below is the first drawing in my marvelous sketchbook that I’ve started to fondly call my baby (yes, I know it’s cliche!).

On a side note, I went to the doctors today to discover I have a massive ear infection in my left ear. It feels like someone is repeatedly stabbing it with a tiny knife, and I’ve nearly bursted into tear on multiple occasion because it’s so painful. Mind you, I have an extremely high pain tolerance that is backed up by the fact that I played a month of soccer on a sprained ankle. I would of kept playing on it, but I sort of collapsed after a game since my ankle just sort of gave out on me. I am aware of the stupidity of my decision, but I swear it honestly didn’t hurt that bad, and I would have never guessed it was sprained. Image


Pikachu Tattoo

I have this wonderful friend at my university (dare I say best friend) who was actually the first person I met. Aside from her and her roommate, I was one of the first people to arrive at the dorms, and I didn’t know I needed to find an RA to get into my room. So here I am, running up and down the halls with arms full of stuff trying to figure out what to do because I had been stuck in a car for several hours and really needed to pee, and I come across her and her roommate in their room. The conversation goes as following:

Me: Hello (frantically)

Her: Hi

Me: How did you get into your room?

Her: You have to find an RA downstairs with a key to open it for you. -awkward pause-

Me: I’m going to go now because I really need to pee. Bye!

Her: Okay, bye. Good luck!

And then I quickly run off in desperate need to relieve my bladder. Next thing I know, her and I are sticking together during orientation and hanging out between classes. It all worked out quite splendidly.

Anyway, she has a zombie pikachu tattoo on her boob and often dyes her hair a bright pin, which looks very good on her. This has made her quite well known at our school between both students and staff, and for some reason especially among the sports teams. The first instance this became apparent was when we were walking past the lacrosse team’s practice, and every single player got really quiet and stopped to stare at us, and we heard one of the players whisper “That’s her. The one with the tattoo”. The most recent occurrence, that makes me write this post, is one she told me today where she ran into the basketball team, and they all catcalled her but in the mean, making-fun-of way. Honestly, people are simply unbelievably rude at times because this girl is one of the nicest, most polite, and most accepting people I have ever met, and it irritates me that people do this without any consideration to others’ feelings.

Naturally, after she told me this it launched us into a conversation about how visually stepping out of social norms through clothing, tattoos, hair, etc instantly draws peoples’ attention to you and how this is both a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because it allows you to stand out from the mass of 7 billion people in the world and create a unique identity that is unlike anyone else. However, it’s a curse because instances like the one that happened to her occur. Personally, I don’t stand out as much as her. I have a nose piercing (a stud), and I sometimes put red or blue coloring in my hair, and I enjoy dressing in vintage clothes or in a punk-like manner. However, nose piercings have become common, my hair is dark so the colors don’t stand out as much and look more natural, and I don’t dress that way every day because when you have an 8am class you are just too tired to put effort into appearance most of the time. Still, after talking and thinking about it, I came to the conclusion I would much rather stand out than blend in because life is too short to go unnoticed. This doesn’t mean I want to be the center of attention and be a social butterfly surrounded by a mass of people (oh god, no! Introvert here, remember). It’s just nice that when I’m walking to class I stand out to the point that people will notice me and recognize me because it means I’m memorable. Who wants to follow the norm anyway? The norm tends to be a bit boring in my opinion. I would rather chase a cat through the park at 9pm or discuss the probability of each religions accuracy than go clubbing or partying any day (and yes, I am speaking from experience).



So, I don’t like my roommate, and I think I have fairly good reason not to. For starters, she’s a one upper. Every time I open my mouth to share a story or a problem, she has an even more fantastical story or devastating problem. Second, she is extremely condescending. Just because I’m not social doesn’t mean I’m stupid or naive. Third, she says awful things about me behind my back to our shared friends who of course tell me what she has said, and when I confront her about it she lies to my face, saying they twisted her words and then goes on to tell me she said the complete opposite of what I’ve heard. Mostly she complains about the fact that my side of the room is messy, which it’s not. It’s just organized chaos which I keep contained to my side of the room. The worst part is that she continues to pretend to be my friend to my face, and I just don’t feel like dealing with anymore conflict since I have to live with her, so I just go along with it. Finally, she constantly talks about how weird my art is.

Yes, the subject of my art tends to lean towards the abnormal. I like to express my sarcastic, dark, and borderline-sadistic sense of humor in my work, so it tends to be a bit creepy. However, that does not mean my roommate needs to bring it up EVERY SINGLE TIME she sees my art, which is quite often since I work on it almost 24/7. So, the reason I’m sharing this with you is because I may have done something a bit mean the other day.

Currently, I’m drawing a picture that involves a picture of a girl from the torso up with a heart cut out in her chest with a raven coming out, and there are worms in her hair because I didn’t feel like drawing a nest like I originally planned. So, my roommate walks over and looks at what I’m drawing and says “That’s so disturbing. How do you come up with this stuff?” (This is about the third time she’s said this about this drawing). So, I look at her completely serious and respond “Well, sometimes I feel like there’s a bird living in my chest instead of my heart, and he’s trying to get out, and that if my hair grew worms then I would be able to feed my bird.” That ended the conversation, and she left me alone after that. Honestly, I had thought she would get that I was being sarcastic, but I guess not. She hasn’t said anything more about my art. I wonder how long it will last. Honestly, I just wanted to express in the drawing how hearts can figuratively take different forms, but I think I like my new explanation much more.